白事礼仪与禁忌 – Singapore Federation of Chinese Clan Associations

The funeral

Visitors should wear clothes in plain colours to express their sorrow. After they offer incense and bow thrice to the deceased, the family of the deceased will bow to express their thanks.

Visitors gift money or wreaths, and receive red silk thread and sweets from the mourning family in return.

After attending a funeral, add pomegranate flowers to water and use this for bathing or washing one’s hands.

Traditionally, mourning attire for family members of the deceased was made with hemp. Today, they usually wear plain garments in black or white. If the deceased is a woman, her family members wear a mark of mourning on their right arm. If the deceased is a man, they wear the mark on their left arm.

The mourning period

The Chinese believe that in the first three years of a child’s life, he is not able to survive without parental care. When one’s parents pass away, children thus observe a mourning period of three years to repay their parents.

During this period, some may refrain from eating meat and consuming alcohol for a year.

In the past, families could only hold weddings after the three-year mourning period. Now, it is permissible to hold a wedding within a hundred days of burial, or wait until a year after the burial.

During the first year of the mourning period, one should refrain from attending events such as weddings. During Lunar New Year, friends and relatives should not visit those in mourning.